Friday, January 28, 2011

Adult truths

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when yourealize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'mpretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you howthe person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment atwork when you know that you just aren't going to do anythingproductive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? Idon't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asksme if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report thatI swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know notto answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday orSaturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you justnod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word theysaid?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teamup to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong,brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never getdirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times andstill not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating theircar keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tailon the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snoozebutton from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, firsttime, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

1 comment:

LucyParker said...

Ahh, Obi-Wan Wasylowski, we have so much to learn from you.