New Blog Site AND Richard Armitage

I will be doing the extra tomorrow for Austen Authors so everyone read it and then leave me a good comment to impress the other writers. I have a God awful competitive streak that has turned into an interstate with the release of my new book - DARCY AND FITZWILLIAM. Gotta have more Twitter followers!

This week was very strange. Sunday our two favorite nieces were visiting from Chicago and we went out to dinner. They are wonderful and funny, both, and very kind. Rather like Stepford Nieces. Then Monday we buried my sister-in-law who had been ill for many years. She's a good deal older than my husband and had been bed ridden for the last six months. She was ready to go, believe me. We hid the gun. The odd thing was how cold the funeral was, how dry eyed we all were. Such a sad testament to a long life. We were able to sneak the ashes of her recently dead dog, Louie, into the casket with her. I think he was the only one who in her family who loved her at the end. Sad.

THE BLOG FROM HELL
Ok, wonderful nephew Adrian has created a new blog for me at www.karenwasylowski.com/blog. It is a much nicer, cleaner looking blog than this but I don't know how to run the thing yet because my password and log in didn't work. I was thinking to keep both blogs. I must be crazy, I don't have time to write now. I will never get this stupid second book finished - and then I have no excuse for being a one book wonder.

Sounds like a plan to me.

Maybe I can keep this particular one for my rantings with LucyP and the rest of you and have a more traditional, Jane Austen loving, respectful, ladylike... Oh hell, that doesn't sound good anyway.

NEW BLOG ADDRESS: www.karenwasylowski.com/blog

FOLLOWERS
I have another follower!!!!! Whoever you are I love you. Let me know what kind of Youtubbies you like. We have a prediliction for Mathew Macfadyen (yay) Colin Firth (ya) and Richard Armitage (y). Also, anything that is nuts will find a home.

LucyP did you get the book back?

MARTIN CLUNES AS COLONEL RICHARD FITZWILLIAM
Here is the actor I envision as Fitzwilliam - when people finally come to their collective senses and make my book into a movie - or perhaps a stage play. What do you guys think? I think she'd make a great Amanda too - even if she isn't blonde.

MY PATHETIC BOOK REVIEW, RANDOM INSANITY, MATTHEW MACFADYEN'S HAIR AND RICHARD ARMITAGE!!!!

See Matthew. He is Karen's favorite actor. See Matthew's hair. Where is Matthew's comb? Can someone give Matthew a comb? Spot has a comb. Richard has a comb. Colin has a comb.




I just saw a trailer for the new 3 Musketeer Movie, in 3D, and again, they have gone to great lengths with my boy's locks. Oh my God. Why does Matthew's hair seem to have a life of it's own. Hair extensions were not meant to ruin you looks, were they? And if they color his hair blond, as they did in Frost/Nixon, can someone give him a hot oil conditioner? I'm just saying. There is only one solution. We must keep his hair short, like it was on MI-5.

I'm just saying. If he was to ask me.


RICHARD ARMITAGE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

Oops. The wrong Richard Armitage. Hopefully.









The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again', giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.




BERNARD CORNWELL BOOK - AGINCOURT

Finished the latest Bernard Cornwell book titled Agincourt - about the great battle depicted in Shakespeare's Henry V. The book was very good, but brutal in many parts; and, I hate to admit it, that was part of it's charm for me. I often think that's part of my Sicilian nature. His battle scenes are horrific, his distate for the Catholic church very prominent, and his depiction of life in Medieval Times terrifying. I loved it.

Next up is Greg Iles "The Quiet Game". I just started it and Rich had to pry my fingers from the book so we could go home. God it is good! My husband and I eat out every day for lunch and dinner - I know, we are lazy and that's just one of the many perks of retirement. I have my restaurant book that I read while we eat and he reads at least two newspapers a day. The restaurant books are usually pretty deep and very interesting, respectable. At night I read shallow perverted lady porn books by Sandra Brown and Linda Howard. My blind friend Judy hates that I can read two books at the same time - hates it. She reads about five books a week (listens really) but she can't do two at once because of the disc machine. Ha! So there, Judy.

My Second Book Signing and Richard Armitage

Books a Million. We sold out in about forty five minutes! Of course the bookstore had only twelve copies left for us to sell and a lot of people we knew showed up but still - they had a lot of copies of the book there last time we checked! Maybe people really are buying it! Richie has been reading off a litany of countries it is selling in - Germany? Unbelievable.

(You can tell when I have absolutely nothing in mind to write, can't you?)

I found this hysterical Youtube for Pride and Prejudice and put it on my Facebook page. For those of you who didn't see it, and just because I love the thing, here it is again.



I love the next one too.



So now I have to get this and do the whole movie, kind of like Woody Allen's What's Up Tiger Lily? I hate to steal this idea but it is to good to just leave at these two scenes. If anyone sees anymore of these, please let me know.


MATTHEW MACFADYEN

Where in the World is Matthew Macfadyen??? He's disappeared and the poor boy doesn't twitter or facebook or anything. I hope he's all right, he is my Darcy after all. His wife is in that remake of Upstairs Downstairs that is said to be deadly dull - pass me a saucer of milk someone.

Nacho, the new Fabio (and RA)

I have to admit that this is one fine looking young man - even at twelve years of age he has the mannerisms of an adult. No, seriously, is this what getting older is going to be like? Developing girly crushes on younger and younger men until I start waggling my eyebrows at preteens, until I start swiveling my hips and swaggering my walker in the face of toddler boys, until my old lady night drool matches that heavenly newborn's?

But he is fine...let me get my teeth.



GILBERT GOTTFRIED
Funniest GG joke I ever heard:

Doctor: I have bad news. You have cancer and you have Alzheimers
Patient: Thank God! I thought I had cancer.

I guess you have to have taken care of an Alzheimer patient to understand. My mom and I laughed a lot at that one, then we'd forget and laugh at it again.


FOR MARIA GRAZIA



I've developed an odd liking for Justin Timberlake; he is pretty cute on Saturday Night Live. Pass me a Depends someone..

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY
St. Patrick was an Italian born in Britain and enslaved in Ireland. At least that's whay my mama told me. She also had huge fights with my father over whether an Italian discovered America or if a Swede did (Leif Erickson). That fight never did get resolved.

I have decided to go to mass every day for Lent. Today made twice so far, a pretty good showing for me actually. I liked the priest today, Father Russell. I remember when Rich and I first came down here to Florida Russell managed a religious store and weighed about three hundred pounds, never smiled. I felt so sorry for him. He finally lost a few hundred pounds and entered the seminary. He is still serious looking but with a killer sense of humor and there is a joy in his eyes that makes you happy for him. He's where he always wanted to be, God love him.

I'm trying for three days in a row at mass tomorrow. God will faint. Film at eleven.

FINALLY GOT MY COMPUTER BACK - AND RICHARD ARMITAGE!

Finally, the problem of my psychotic computer has been solved. It turns out that when Brighthouse brought over our new modem they were unaware that it worked as a router also and hooked it up to our old router. So, we had two routers and a schizoid computer. In fact two of them, actually three of them. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition. I am happy now. I can twitter again. I just read a tweet from someone who announced that she had burned her finger. You see how much I missed.


A SINGLE MAN

I couldn't wait to talk about "A Single Man." It was on cable the other night and we watched it - not at all what I expected. They made the film look like it really was from the sixties - not only the furniture and cars but something about the color of the film was completely different. And the sixties styles! It was fascinating to watch. Colin Firth was really quite good in this, but he is a wonderful actor anyway. I don't have the common reaction to him that most women obviously have - I am not attracted to him in "that way" - I know that's a great relief to LucyP.

But, I cried when that film was finished. Oh how my heart went out to that character, remembering how narrow minded people were back then, and they haven't changed a whole lot yet. He was great in this movie, could have easily won the Oscar last year too.

Some very good underwater shots of the guys too. My, my...

This music is Immortal Beloved, beautiful song also used in a Matthew Macfadyne Pride and Prejudice clip so I am partial to it.



THE REAL IMMORTAL BELOVED -

Animals and Youtube (and Richard Armitage)

I love animals. Anything to do with dogs or cats or even snakes and I am donating or petting or whatever. Makes it even more curious why I'm not a vegetarian, doesn't it. Jimmy looks fine to me.

Well, what is today's gossip? Nothing can possibly top Japan and the catastrophe there - unless Lindsey Lohan wears another sweater dress or Charlie Sheen sticks a cigarette in his eye. By the way, I have never seen Two and a Half Men. Is he really funny? He doesn't seem to be a really happy man, let alone funny - more pathetic and loser like. And Martin Sheen is his father? Really?

OK - onto Youtube adventures. Lucy really liked the laughing man video, she and my husband share the same bizarre sense of humor evidently. I don't even think that video is real to tell you the truth - the people around them barely blink, it just seems staged to me. I will have to Snopes it if possible.



Speaking of animals, here are two of MY favorite people - Steven Merchant and Ricky Gervais. More Merchant than Gervais really. I love "Extras" and could watch it most of the day. They've been together for years as writers and radio hosts. They are hysterical.

MEN, DOCTORS, and GOOD LOOKING VAMPIRES. AND RICHARD ARMITAGE

Today I finally got my husband to the doctor down here in Florida. We generally go up north for check-ups once a year but he's been acting funny and his back has been killing him so I just made the appointment and then pitched a fit.

God love him, he went.

Now we are entering the Florida doctor-go-round. You go to one Florida doctor and you are dragged into a black hole. Every doctor makes a referral and a three month follow-up appointment. Every one. Richie is a bit ticked at the moment.

But, we found out he is diabetic! So now he is on pills as of tomorrow morning. Also tomorrow morning we go for an MRI (notice I said 'we' automatically) for his back. (Did you ever notice that the doctors talk directly to the wife when explaining what has to be done. They handed everything over to me, as if they didn't trust him. Good instincts on their part) Plus we have to go for bloodwork. Plus we have a two week follow up. Richie is really ticked.

I don't care. He'll get shots for his pinched nerve (that's what the doctor thinks it is in his back) then he can return to exercising which he had to stop because of his pain. His stopping exercise caused him to gain twenty pounds. The twenty pounds brought on the diabetes. It's not my fault. But, we go back to the doctor in two weeks and then every three months for blood checks.

Why are men so mental about taking care of themselves? He refuses to take even an aspirin usually and now he'll be on medication until he can lose about thirty pounds - and hopefully then I'll finally lose some too.

COLIN FIRTH - VAMPIRE

I heard that Colin Firth will play a - lord help us - vampire in his next movie; one can only hope they don't name the vampire Louie Darcy or something like that. I have never ever understood the allure of vampires for the young and dumb. It is probably the natural progession from Harry Potter but, honestly, it is really stupid.

I was hoping that Colin and Matthew Macfadyen get roles in the Anna Karenina movie that Joe Wright is planning. Have I posted this before? I have been planting my evil little idea at a lot of sites lately, hopefully including my own. But...wouldn't Matthew my darling Macfadyen make a stunning Vronsky? and Colin would be a magnificent Karenin. They could put Barbara Walters as Anna - who would bother to look at her.

Video of the day...

And my husbands very favorite video...

New Blog Site

I haven't been doing much here because I am, first, Lazy; and, second the same nephew who has created the nice new website for me is working on a blog that comes with it so I will be over there. I don't quite now how this will work - if I abandon this one or close it out or what. Well, the new one is the exact replica of Jane Austen World's blog page so I asked if we could have a different picture across the top. He's looking into it. It will be different and maybe I can get a huge following and steal articles from Jane Austen Today or Austen Authors. Or, maybe we can get other authors to come into this one and both run it.

I don't know. I am happy when I can even tweet.

I signed up for Charlie Sheen tweets but, typical for me, I think I picked the wrong one. Those tweets are from 2009. I felt mildly guilty anyway for wanting to witness his explosion.

I was told that A Happy Assembly is having a wild thread about a naked Richard Armitage (Maria look lively here) and I heard that Lizzy and Darcy had a thread about my review in Jane Austen World. I have been so out of it that I didn't even know - have to check that one out.

Also, I have been getting a lot of info from AHA about the House of Commons in 1800. I have been trying the second book and have an idea to take Darcy to the House of Commons and Fitz to the House of Lords - have both men finally extending out of their comfort zones for the good of their families and for love of country.

Another great site I began to visit was Topix. They have a Matthew Macfadyen thread there that provides the needed gossip and pictures on which we girls all thrive. One cute thread was a woman sitting at a cafe in London next to Matthew. He had smiled at her and shook her hand and signed her Anna Karenina book for her - he was doing a reading that night in something called English Pen (I have to move to Britain - I am missing everything over here).

Anyway, didn't I suggest he be in that new movie Joe Wright is making with Keira as Anna? I want him to play Vronsky and Colin Firth to play Karenin. What a bombshell that would be.

I feel like a bit of Richard Sharpe today, ladies. Love you guys.



THE MEMORIAL STONE
Billy died.... His will provided $30,000 for this elaborate funeral.
As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Joyce, turned to her oldest and dearest friend, Jonelle.
"Well, I'm sure Billy would be pleased," she said.

"I'm sure you're right," replied Jonelle, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.
"How much did this really cost?"

"All of it," said Joyce .. "Thirty thousand dollars."

"No!" Jonelle exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"

Joyce answered, "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church.
The whiskey, wine, food and snacks were another $500.. The rest went for the Memorial Stone."
Jonelle quickly computed the total of $7,500 and said "$22,500 for a Memorial Stone? My God, how big is it?"

Joyce answered, "Two and a half carats
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mrs. Maria Fitzherbert and Richard Armitage

One of the characters in Darcy and Fitzwilliam is an actual figure in British history; Mrs. Maria Fitzherbert, a Catholic widow who for a short period of time came to be known as “Mrs. Prince.”

But, the story begins much earlier. In the beginning of the nineteenth century the center of the fashionable British scene, the “first gentleman of Europe”, the Prince of Wales, the buddy to Beau Brummel, the friend of rakes and drunkards was the future King, George IV. He became the Regent of England during one of his father’s ‘insanity’ episodes and was popular with the people, appearing to them the essence of the old days. He hunted, kept packs of hounds, drank, and had numerous and famous affairs, several turning into rather vulgar embarrassments.

And just when they thought the lad was going to hell in a handbasket there entered the love of his life - Maria Anne Smythe, better known as Mrs. Fitzherbert, with the face of an angel and a body to lust for. Of course there were a few problems, she would never be accepted by his father. She was six years his senior, twice widowed, and she was Catholic. Pish posh; all these impediments only made her more desirable to the Prince, a man forever in search of ways to torment his father. Besides he was madly and truly in love for the first time in his miserable little life.
She was not unaware of the unsuitability of any relationship between them and she tried to distance herself but he begged, he pleaded, he cried. Finally, one night in desperation, he sent a messenger to tell her he had stabbed himself at Carlton House, his residence, and would again unless she would come to him, which she did out of love. George lay there in his ruffles and blood and begged Maria to marry him. At last she succumbed, the ring supplied by her friend Georgiana, the Duchess of Devonshire.

Immediately afterward Maria came to her senses, sent back the ring and the written commitment he had given her and escaped to the Continent but George sent his detectives after her. For a year they searched then brought her back to a real wedding, in her home. They were morally and legally now man and wife and they lived very happily for a while at the ornate Brighton Pavilion he had built for her, making that city “London by the Sea” for the aristocracy. Everyone who was anyone was there. The rakes came quickly – Fox and Sheridan, the Earl of Barrymore and his sister, a woman as notorious as her brother. She even took the chair occasionally as the head of the club he established and she named, the infamous Hell Fire Club. Brighton had become very wild indeed.

Of course the marriage was never really legal. All marriages had to be approved by the King, and George IV was not King yet. His father still held the throne. In time it was decided Prince George should take a legal wife, a marriage to his cousin Caroline, the daughter of the Duke of Brunswick was arranged, taking place ten years after his marriage to the sweet and gentle Maria. Where he had found happiness and contentment with Maria, he found despair and disgust with Caroline. They hated each other, it was open warfare for many years and instead of slinking off to the Continent to hide, Caroline remained in the court to cause as much discomfort as possible. When George IV finally attained the throne he divorced her immediately and she took a house nearby the palace so that she could scream at him when he passed by. She died one month after the coronation.

When George IV died seven years later his letters from Mrs. Fitzherbert, which he read over and over, were given to the care of the Duke of Wellington. Those letters and Mrs. Fitzherbert’s letters that she had received from the King were burned together, in her fireplace, in her home, with Wellington, Mrs. Fitzherbert and the Duke of Albermarle as witness.

So George IV will be remembered for many things. His dissolute life style, the debauchery of his reign as the Prince Regent, his invention of a belt buckle which Thackeray immortalized with biting satire, his absurdly ornate Pavilion at Brighton, and for his love for one woman. Mrs. Maria Fitzherbert.

And, of course, Richard Armitage has absolutely nothing to do with this, I merely added his name because my stats go higher whenever he is included.

And I include him for Maria Grazia. Ciao.