Friday, July 8, 2011

THE DARCY CHRONICLES - end of week one

Darcy just peed in the family room.  The fun has begun.  This morning I cleaned up two piles of poop and a dried pee puddle in the living room. I am sooo glad my husband talked me out of naming her Matthew Macfadyen now.  It has saved me from pointing to the soaked section and yelling,

"What is that wet spot there Matthew Macfadyen.  Did you pee there?  Hmm.  Matthew Macfadyen, look at me!  Where were you on the evening of July 4?  Did you poop in the living room?" 

Darcy and I just stood over the spot on the area rug; we both stared at it for a good while before she began to yawn. This is a common doggie tactic meant to disarm you and make you think she has no idea of what you are speaking.  She looked over at Richie. "It must have been dad."  She didn't come right out and say that but it was implied with that yawn.  Merde. 

Another discovery.  She is quite the little gas factory.  She could light up a small village in Guatamala. 

The Humane Society told us Darcy is a combination Labrador and Australian Cattle Dog.  Really?  How do they control the herd, she can't find the back door.  And, she is the clumsiest dog in the world.  She runs like a gunshot has gone off in her head and her tail end goes much faster than the front.  She stops so suddenly that she spins around until her four legs are flat out and her chin is in the dirt. 

We purchased several pricey doggie things this week.  One is some sort of antler.  The six year old who works at Petsmart said it is the newest rage in pet chewy toys.  Antlers are evidently industructible.  Little Betsy said her Petsmart manager purchased one for her dog three years ago and it still looks like new.  If his dog is anything like Darcy that's because the dog never goes near it.  I keep following Darcy around with it in my hand and try to force it into her mouth.  The stupid thing cost about $30.  I explained that a perfectly wonderful Elk gave his life merely for her teeth.   I think she feels badly sometimes. 

A Google search proclaimed that these Australian Cattle Dogs are really smart but we figure the Labrador in her is kind of negating that.  The article suggested that she be given some sort of work to do to keep her mind active.  I gave her the stove and a can of oven cleaner.  She yawned.   Then she crawled into my lap and licked my face clean.  She did finally agree to pick up after herself.

Another of the pricey little toys we bought at Petsmart was a food cube.  Baby Jane, the six year old salesclerk, said that it was a good puzzle and would interest a smart dog.  You put the food inside the cube and they have to figure out how to get the food out if they want to eat.  Kind of like Doggie Weight Watchers.  The idea is that they roll the cube around and around and the food nuggets pop out one by one giving the dog both excercise and a brain stimulant.  So far Richie and I are the only ones pushing that cube around.  I keep saying, "See, this is how it's done.  See, this is how it's done. See, this is how it's done."   So far I've lost two pounds.

Still searching for Fitzwilliam.


LucyParker said...

I'm laughing at how Darcy already has you two trained! You feed her, clean up after her, play with toys to amuse her - you are her own private circus!

Re: Petsmart. They love us there because we spend a ridiculous amount of our life savings there. Lucy actually shops. She goes up and down aisles, sniffing the product until she decides what she wants, then she takes it in her mouth to the checkout stand, stands on her hind legs, and places her purchase on the conveyor belt. (even if it's not her turn) Then she goes to the bagging area where she watches the clerk with an eagle eye until I pay. The clerk then hands Lucy her purchase, Lucy grins with the purchase between her teeth and heads for the car. Parker, on the other hand, pees on everything, so we disavow knowing him until Lucy's done shopping.

Gotta go walk L&P now. It's 11:30pm, the only cool part of the day. Yeah, I'm in my nightgown, but the neighbors haven't reported me yet. I know you're doing the same with Darcy. Scratch Darcy's hiney for me. I'm sure she's already trained you how to do this!

Abigail Reynolds said...

LOL! I sympathize with your housebreaking challenges, having just gone through that with the puppy we were caring for for a month. We used to have a lab/border collie cross and were lucky enough to get lab temperament with border collie brains. Unfortunately his herding instinct won out and since the only thing he had to herd was our six cats... well, let's just say he was a VERY frustrated herding dog! Anyway, try rubbing a little peanut butter on the antler - it makes it much more interesting.

3laine said...

Antlers? Huh. Haven't seen them in Switzerland.

I bought one of those cubes for lily the pup. She was, actually quite good with it. We hated it because it made so much noise banging against everything. I now have a soft ball that works on the same principle - we like it much better. Not sure where to get it in the US. Petsmart, Petco maybe.

Lily will hold a toy down with her paw and try to pick it up with her mouth, like she's tricking herself. I wonder if she's smarter than we are sometimes.

Planet dog toys are cool, and fairly robust. We a big pink bone that Lily loves, a glow in the dark ball and some other rubbery things. I'm not sure where to get them, though....

Karen Wasylowski said...

Great idea with the peanut butter and yes the damn antler is like a gong on our all tile floors but she always seems to leave it on an area rug where we can't see it and I step on it and nearly topple over I have a homing device in my foot - I always find it.

3laine where are you from?

Darcy is out herding the little gecko's down the driveway - two have passed on from heart attacks

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