Men and Women - a Geography lesson

The Geography of a Woman

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa...

Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe...

Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain…

Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece…

Gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain…

With a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel…

Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice,

Takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada…

Self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet…

Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.

An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.

And now…

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran…

Ruled by a pair of nuts.

 Subject: Tom Luberda: Human geography

The best Youtube in the world AND why I am more convinced than ever that all people (excepting myself) are insane...and Richard Armitage

Sipping Vodka...and Matthew Macfadyen

SIPPING VODKA

This joke was forwarded to me by my sister-in-law.  If you love it, it's mine...if you're offended, call Susie, 555-1212.

 A new Priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done.

The Monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.."

So next Sunday he took the Monsignor's advice.. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:

1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.

2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.

8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him.

9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

10) We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'

11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said,"Take this and eat it for this is my body.." He did not say,"Eat me."

12) The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the Cherry'.

13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub, thanks for the grub, Yeah God.

14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxeoqgr1vpQ