Despite the wishes of an entire nation, nay, the entire world, the future monarch of the United Kingdom remained barricaded today within the Royal Womb. A source close to Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge and candidate for both "Most Patient Woman in the World" and "Nicest Hair" reported that Mrs. Windsor was last seen jumping from ladders and running around her back yard. Castor oil has also been administered, along with around the clock sex with her willing to help husband.
There is some evidence that the future royal may be investigating other means of escape, in which case the above posters have been distributed, showing what the child will look like through the coming years...especially since he/she may well be into their middle years before this whole thing is over.
When asked to have a word with the child, the Queen reacted.
What could be the true reason for the Royal Reluctance?
Inside sources reveal The Royal Baby is gripping the walls of the Royal Womb. Could this be some diabolical plan by the child, remaining encased long enough to break the Guinness Book of World Records set by a distant relative, Richard the II, who remained buried in secret for 528 years?
And now your daily moment of Zen with Richard Armitage
I'M NOT GOING OUT THERE!