OMG - HELEN FIELDING KILLS OFF MR. DARCY
Evidently reeling from back lash caused by her new book, BRIDGET JONES, HOW I WRECKED A FRANCHISE, author Helen Fielding, dressed for Halloween as Samuel L. Jackson, has shot and killed actor Colin Firth, thereby ending the world's hopes that she rewrite her stupid storyline and resurrect Mark Darcy. An all points bulletin has been issued for her apprehension.
Further, sources close to the investigation tell us security has now been tightened around Renee Zellweger, the actress who portrayed Bridget Jones in two very successful movies. It is believed that since Helen Fielding has always expressed a dislike of Zellweger's portrayal of fat and frumpy Bridget, the actress may be in danger. Fielding believes, and rightly so, that she herself should play the now much older role, even going so far as to purchase a Stella McCartney ensemble to next disguise herself as Javier Bardem.
FUNERAL SELFIES, OR, HOW TO GET THE KIDS TO GIVE A S*** THAT GRANDMA DIED
In an effort to show that teens are not the self-centered, vapid creatures they are portrayed in film and television, Fast Company's Jason Feifer, creator of the Tumblr "Selfies at Serious Places," has provided the world with his latest masterpiece: "Selfies at Funerals."
Just in time for Christmas Cheer - these will warm your heart...