Karen V. Wasylowski: Sex in the (Regency City) - Episode Two (Lizzy gets dissed by Mr. Big)

Monday, October 22, 2012

Sex in the (Regency City) - Episode Two (Lizzy gets dissed by Mr. Big)

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EPISODE TWO

(Chuck Bingley has suggested to his friend, Mr. Big, that he might want to dance with the 'smart' Bennet sister - Mr. Big might, not Chuck. Chuck is already salivating after the pretty sister.)

Mr. Big

Me? Dance with that? I'd rather eat dog mange than dance with that...that...person. She possesses absolutely no attractive aspect in my eyes, Bingley - no grace, no proper attire, no acceptable coif nor cap nor even turban with a smart feather...she also has no feet as far as I can see since her gown is so drab that my gaze refuses to linger for the usual rakish up and down perusal. The gall! I think she just stuck her tongue out at me - she could be rabid. Where's my pistol when I need it...?

Chuck Bingley

I'm certain it was nothing personal, Big; probably gas...please calm yourself. Here allow me to lick your boots again, and please try to keep your voice down - I believe she may have heard that last comment of yours and that may interfere with my deflowering her sister later in the story. She's not that bad looking is she? Not in a dark light - or better yet no light...

Mr. Big

Nonsense. I'm going to dance only with your sister Caroline. At least I am half way assured I won't need a series of shots later Ah, here she is...

Mr. Big

I'm going to be requiring a good deal of alchohol tonight, Bingley.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mrs. Bennet

Did you hear what he said about you Lizzy? What a GREAT honor to be noticed by a man of his shoe size.

Lizzy

Mama, your hair is curled much too tightly. THAT was an insult to our entire family - don't you understand? Are you entirely devoid of sensitivity and good breeding...oh, never mind, I forgot for a moment to whom I was speaking. No I shall show that man what a truly elegant female I am. I'll rip him to shreds.

Jane

Don't be hasty, Lizzy. I'm certain Mr. Big meant what he said in the kindest of ways.

Lizzy

I feel like the meat in an idiot sandwich. You cannot be serious, Jane. He intimated I was rabid!

Jane

Oh, Lizzy, I am certain you misunderstood him. Perhaps he said vapid.

Lizzy

Shut up, Jane. I will have a good deal to say about our Mr. Big tomorrow in my Sex in the Backseat of the Barouche column...mother please stop cleaning your teeth with your knife!

Jane

Just don't harm Mr. Bingley's BALLS...

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REVIEW BY DEE SWIFT OF DARCY AND FITZWILLIAM

Darcy and Fitzwilliam by Karen Wasylowski

I am not a particularly fanatical Austen fan, certainly not a purist, but I do like the wit of Jane Austen, and so was ready to embrace the tale of Darcy and his cousin with open arms. I was not disappointed. What impressed me most about this book was that it was the feel of Austen, but updated. It is very difficult to be funny in an Austen-esque way and still be fresh. Too often the humour doesn't properly succeed. But the impact that Austen must have had in her day is all here, in this laugh-out-loud romp through Darcy's post wedding adventures, and those of his irrepressible "brother".

I was unprepared for just how funny the book would be. The scene where Lizzie is giving birth, with Amanda's small, curious, stiffly-educated son looking on, is hilarious, and had my husband wondering why I was laughing so much. Even the servants have been wittily expanded, and the book is funny because it is so well-observed. It pokes fun at regency attitudes to women, and gently lampoons the mores and morals of the time. There is also a sense in which the English themselves are satirized, and this is refreshing, but not at all offensive.

After the initial forty or so pages of set-up the book fairly sweeps along with misunderstandings aplenty, and it is no slight volume. The characters have to be impeccably constructed for the situation comedy to work, and Karen Wasylowski has done this thoroughly, also the research on her period and The Peninsula War gives the reader just the right amount of setting.
A great read, that works whether you have read any Austen or not.

THE CALICO CRITIC

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Karen Wasylowski has done a fine job with these Austenian characters. She has stayed true to the original vision of their temperaments, yet brings new aspects of who they are to light. Their witty repartee is always fun, as they regularly jab at each other in non-cynical brotherly ways. Darcy and the Colonel passionately love their women, sometimes going to extremes to protect them and those they love. There is much drama in this narrative, although it doesn’t cross over into melodrama in the least.

There was more than one night when I had trouble putting the book down to go to bed!Being the men who they are, there are a few moments that are a bit PG-13 as far as language and sexual content. I mention this only for those who are particular about these issues or are considering this for young readers. Most of the bedroom material is within the confines of marriage, and Wasylowski doesn’t go overboard with frequent gratuitous moments of intimacy or colorful tirades.

Thank heavens this isn’t some tawdry bodice-ripper with blue dialog every other minute.

Darcy and Fitzwilliam was an enjoyable read. Karen provides a epilogue that occurs decades after the main story, and I think she could easily draft a sequel in the future. I readily enjoyed her treatment of these characters and hope she continues to revisit this world. Her work is page turning, humorous, maddening (Caroline!!) and touching.

This is a fine edition to the ever-growing library of Austenesque novels. It’s definitely a “bromance” worth an Austen fan’s consideration.

LINDA BANCHE REVIEW

Review: DARCY AND FITZWILLIAM: A TALE OF A GENTLEMAN AND AN OFFICER by Karen V. Wasylowski

Laugh until your sides ache and then laugh some more with Karen V. Wasylowski's delicious Darcy and Fitzwilliam: A Tale of a Gentleman and an Officer. This absorbing, fast-moving romp of a book catalogues the often hilarious ups and downs in the enduring affectionate friendship of those brothers-in-spirit, cousins Fitzwilliam Darcy and Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam.

I read this entire 481 page book in one day, laughing all the way. Ms. Wasylowski has a good ear for realistic male banter, most of it uproariously funny. The best two lines in the whole novel occur when Darcy and Fitzwilliam reminisce about their youth and the hilariously disgusting things young boys do to each other. I still laugh when I think of those lines.A truly wonderful and original take on Pride and Prejudice. I can't wait for Ms. Wasylowski's next book.

JANE AUSTEN EXAMINER

This book was a delight to read. I found the character development of Colonel Fitzwilliam particularly fascinating. Men who have seen war, especially at the grand level Wasylowski has laid out her Fitzwilliam, are hardly ever unaffected. Her portrayal of his issues and struggles are heartfelt and poignant.

It was a little heart-wrenching for me to read about Darcy’s past lover and for Elizabeth to have to deal with the reality of marrying an older man more experienced than her. I was almost angry at the author at first, but I realized what a great job she did of involving me in the storyline. I was fairly sucked in.

HISTORICAL BOOKS REVIEW

SUITE101.C0M Review

Jane Austen Books Get a Dose of Karen V. Wasylowski

Though this is only Karen V. Wasylowski's first book, it is safe to say this author has found her voice in sequels to Jane Austen classics. One of the better additions being Karen V. Wasylowski's wit and humor. I never expected to laugh so hard as I did with Darcy and Fitzwilliam. The storyline was so engaging, the plot so thick with intensity and literary genius that I was immediately roped into the novel and ultimately emotionally invested in its outcome.

Karen V. Wasylowski

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Monday, October 22, 2012

Sex in the (Regency City) - Episode Two (Lizzy gets dissed by Mr. Big)

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