THIS AND THAT (and the boys)

Dominique Strauss-Kahn & lucky, lucky wife

RIKER'S ISLAND - BANKER'S WING
The former chairman of one of Egypt's major banks has been arrested on charges of sexually abusing a maid at a Manhattan hotel, just weeks after the arrest of former IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn on similar allegations.  Police say Mahmoud Abdel Salam Omar was arrested at the Pierre Hotel on Monday morning.  The 74-year-old businessman is accused of sexually abusing the maid and holding her against her will inside his hotel room.  Police say the incident happened Sunday night.  Police spokesman Paul Browne says detectives found the complainant to be credible.  Omar is the former chairman of Egypt's Bank of Alexandria.

MEN - YOU CAN'T LIVE WITH THEM, YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THEM, YOU CAN'T KILL THEM...

DOROTHY PARKER
“I wish I could drink like a lady / I can take one or two at the most / Three and I'm under the table / Four and I'm under the host"

WHY ARE MOST WEATHER GIRLS PREGNANT?
Just curious.  Is it the Doppler thing?

BLONDE JOKE 
A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"

MAC VS. MICROSOFT
We had a very informative conversation with a computer geek recently and we learned a number of interesting facts.

1) The reason the MAC has fewer viruses than Microsoft is that 85% of the world have Microsoft and only 15% have MAC.  It is not profitable to go after MAC.

2)  Viruses are profitable!  Who knew!  I always thought a computer virus began in the brain of some nerdy university genius who was pissed off at not having a girlfriend or at the includible staying power of his acne.  No, no, no.  Viruses are manufactured for profits.  China makes the majority of your run of the mill, daily virus and Russia produces your best gambling virus.

3)  Web companies have huge supercomputers whose function is to ferret out the viruses (5,000 /er day) that are being distributed and find the patch to stop it

OR

they can go to a third party and buy the patch made by the virus distributor, to fix the virus that that virus distributor has manufactured.  They create their own markets.  Fascinating.  If only they used their power for good.  I don't make this stuff up, you know.

MY FIRST  AND ONLY MEDIA INTERVIEW IS NOW A SHRINE AT SUBWAY
My dear friend, Jeannie at Subway at 75th and Manatee in Bradenton has framed and mounted my first, last, and more than likely only print interview.  She has placed it, unforunately, on the trash bing.  Beggars, as the Bishop said to the showgirl,  cannot b choosers