Porn Pop-ups; or, should I call them Pop Tarts (and Colin Firth)

Well this was an interesting couple of days.  It began yesterday morning when I cranked up the old abacus here and started to search out gossip - I mean stories -  for my blog, The League of British Artists.  By the way, have any of you ever wondered how Pat and I came up with that most pretentious of titles for our blog?  No?  Who asked you you stupid...

But I digress.  Ok, so I'm at the computer and checking out a news item on, say, RICHARD ARMITAGE (as if - Richard Armitage stories are as rare as botox injections in a convent) and I suddenly see a string of nasty little pictures.  I mean these were lurid, disgusting, filthy, porn shots of people. Having. Sex.  Do you know how hard it is not to click one of those suckers on?  I'm wandering again, aren't I?

Well, I had Pornitis of the old computer.  Foo-Bah.  There they were, all these strange teeney men and women humping away in miniature, ads for porn sites.  Disgusting and degrading to see.  Especially with the magnifying glass.   Baby porn.  I needed a Pornectomy.   But first I had to subject my Toshiba to a Pornoscopy.  Are we done with the medical terminology?  I should say so! as Homer Simpson would say.

What did I do?  I did what any red blooded, right thinking, patriotic American would do.  I phoned India.  Spoke with my buddy Sanjeet at Iyogi.  Iyogi is a gift from God for me because they can fix the computer right then and there - remotely.  I do nothing but answer their questions occasionally and drink coffee.  And they are so polite and courteous that you wonder about them.  It's hard to imagine that right outside is an elephant lunch wagon waiting for the noon bell to ring.

You know I first noticed these Porn sites attaching to me about a month ago.  I checked out my numbers of hits for the day and it was four thousand, I kid you not.  Well, I felt that my blog was finally achieving the status is was meant to have - I mean it is The League of British Artists.  But then I noticed that a post about Clive Owens and his wife had made it, overnight, to the number one position for number of hits.  Odd, that, I thought. Nothing against Clive (who I really do like, especially in Gosford Park, one of my all time favorite movies) but he usually only gets about twenty hits per post.

When I clicked on the post a whole bunch of porn came up.  Free porn, western porn, navy porn, girl on girl, boy on girl, girl on dustbuster...  I took down the post, so don't bother trying to look for it.

The next time I saw it was when I was posting something to a COLIN FIRTH facebook page.  I noticed a couple doing the nasty, but there were no faces involved, if you know what I mean.

So I looked.

Well, for god's sake it was a COLIN FIRTH page and the possibility, mind numbingly remote I know I know, was that it was HIM.  I had to look.

After a few hours I had to admit, it wasn't him.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVmHn1mJ4v8
TheGlitzieGirl1