Dog and Cat Haikus and Richard Armitage

Cat Haiku

A pattering of rain

on the new eaves.

vomit on the bed.

Deep within the stream

The fish lie motionless

I pee on your bedspread

Dog Haiku

Love my master;

Thus I perfume myself with

This long-rotten mouse.

I lie belly-up

In the sunshine, happier than

You ever will be

Today I sniffed

Many dog behinds—I celebrate

By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!

Paper boy—come to kill us all—

Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and

Whiz on each bush.

Hello, Spot—Sniff this and weep

I sound the alarm!

Garbage man—come to kill us all—

Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

How do I love thee?

The ways are numberless as

My hairs on the rug.

I sound the alarm!

Mail carrier—come to kill us all—

Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

My human is home!

I am so ecstatic I have

Made a puddle

I sound the alarm!

Gardener—come to kill us all—

Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I Hate my choke chain—

Look, world, they strangle me!

Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin

On your foot—no greater bliss—well,

Maybe catching mice

Look in my eyes and

Deny it. No human could

Love you as much I do

The cat is not all

Bad—she dots the neighborhood

With Tootsie Rolls

Dig under fence—why?

Because it's there. Because it's

There. Because it's there.

I am your best friend,

Now, always, and especially

When you are eating.

My owners' mood is

Romantic—I lie near their

Feet. I fart a big one.

~~~ Anonymous

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